Kamini Wood: Unleashing Your Inner Potential Through Meaningful Goals

Winning is all about setting and achieving goals that align with your personal values. This week, host Mackenzie Kilshaw has invited a renowned personal human potential coach, Kamini Wood, to shed light on how understanding oneself on a deeper level can lead to living up to one's full potential. Kamini provides thought-provoking insights on setting meaningful goals based on personal values and needs, steering clear of arbitrary goal-setting, and the importance of self-awareness in this process. 

Have you ever found yourself stuck while working towards a goal? Kamini navigates us through this common challenge, encouraging us to reconnect with ourselves and take meaningful actions. We also answer the often-unaddressed question: Is it okay to pivot or change goals? Spoiler alert - it’s a part of the learning and growth process. Kamini also shares her perspective on attaching bonuses or rewards to goals, but remember, they must align with our values!

We conclude our enlightening session with Kamini by discussing the importance of celebrating victories, big or small, and practicing self-compassion when we fail to reach our goals. We also tackle the significance of outsourcing tasks that are not your forte and how it can lead to growth and success in the long haul. Kamini leaves us with a powerful message - the ultimate goal for any entrepreneur should stem from their deeper "why". Join us for this inspiring episode and learn how to set meaningful goals and unlock your full potential in your business journey.

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Chapters

• 0:27 Setting Personal and Professional Growth Goals
• 15:22 Setting and Achieving Goals
• 21:31 Setting Meaningful Goals and Motivating Teams
• 31:46 Utilizing Support, Breaking Goals
• 36:26 Goal Setting and Self-Compassion in Entrepreneurship

Transcript

Shauna Foster: 0:28

Winning is your guide to making it in business. Join our award-winning host and entrepreneur, Mackenzie Kilshaw, and special guests in casual conversations that will educate and inspire you on your business journey. Winning will help you learn the hard lessons the easy way, with guidance from celebrated entrepreneurs and business leaders. It's fun, it's informative, it's winning.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 0:52

Hello, welcome to Winning. I'm your host, Mackenzie Kilshaw, and today's guest is Kamini w. How are you?

Kamini Wood: 0:59

I am well. How are you?

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 1:01

I'm really good. Thank you so much for being on. Just to give you guys a little intro, Kamini is a certified personal human potential coach, which is very interesting to me. She's the creator of Authentic Me and CEO of Live Joy your Way. It's a coaching company helping high performers and overachievers who have seen success through all the rooted traditional metrics re-establish their self-awareness. So I'm really excited to talk to you. We're going to talk today a lot about goals and goal setting, which I think we all talk about, but I don't really know if we're all doing it, so today's the day to get some info. Thanks for being on.

Kamini Wood: 1:39

Thank you again for having me. I'm excited to be here.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 1:42

I am too. This is going to be a cool conversation, because I really do think it's something that people like I need to set goals and I don't actually know that a lot of people actually sit down and set goals. They just talk about setting goals, and I'm not sure if that's a common problem, but I seem to see it a lot, and so it's a really important thing for us to chat about. So here we are.

Kamini Wood: 2:05

I think can I just share Mackenzie. Yes, I think that people set goals a lot because that's what we're told to do. Yes, yeah, because we have to set goals. So so we just set them. But I'm excited to have this conversation because there's so much more to setting goals.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 2:21

I agree and I think too, when I started my first business, I set goals that, honestly, were goals that I just made up, like I didn't even know if they were attainable, I didn't even know if they're reasonable. They were just something for me to kind of strive for. And I think as my business evolved and I became kind of a better entrepreneur, business person, I kind of honed in on better goals. But I think, really, when you're starting out, it's like what am I supposed to be doing right, like how do I, how do I set these goals and what do I strive for? And I think that's something that a lot of people and I mean you're the pro on this you can tell me, but I think it's something that people struggle with.

Kamini Wood: 3:02

They absolutely struggle with it, and what I will tell most of my clients is it's about starting off with your values and your needs and then creating your goals off of that, because oftentimes, when we're setting these goals to your point, we just kind of set them, and so there's almost these arbitrary things that we kind of pull out of wherever, whether we see somebody else doing it and we think, oh, I should do that too.

Kamini Wood: 3:28

Or somebody else maybe externally says hey, I think this would be, this is success, and so we just set goals based on that. But if we actually come back home to our own values and our own needs and we get really clear about that and then create our goals from there, what ends up happening is we then are intrinsically committed to making those things happen, because the steps we need to make for those goals are based in something that's meaningful, because it's based on our values or it's based in our needs, and so then we're committed to the action, and when we take a committed action, then we actually self-affirm, because now we're taking this committed action, so we're self-affirming, which then gives us more intrinsic motivation to continue towards our goal and then, before we know it, we'll reach these goals that we've set for ourselves.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 4:16

I love that. It's so important. Starting out with your values is like if every decision that you make goes right back to those. You're always going to be on the right path.

Kamini Wood: 4:27

Exactly, exactly, yeah, I mean. Most often we forget that when we're stuck or we're going down the rabbit hole. If we can come back home to what's meaningful to us, we're going to figure it out.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 4:40

Yeah, so true, so true. So tell our audience a little bit more. You're a certified professional human potential coach. What the heck is that? Most people are probably wondering what is that? So what? What you do to help people.

Kamini Wood: 4:58

So I call myself this human potential coach because really, what I'm trying to help people do is understand themselves on a deeper level. It's actually called inner standing, and what that really means is I'm going to understand my sensations, my emotions, I'm going to understand those limiting beliefs and the false beliefs or the narratives that I've carried with me throughout the course of my life. Why do we do that? Because when we bring those things to our awareness, we can then come with self compassion, come with curiosity, figure out what serves us and then what doesn't serve us, and then we can live into our human potential. So that's why I routinely just say well, because people, you know what's a life coach? Really, a life coach is different things to different people. For me, it's all about helping my clients understand themselves on that deeper level to truly live into the potential that they have in. Each one of us has our own potential.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 5:54

For sure, and I think too it's like you say, it's your own, because I think a lot of times we do look at someone else and think, oh, I should do that, I could be that, and it might not be true to you, right.

Kamini Wood: 6:07

Absolutely, absolutely. I mean just because something is working for this entrepreneur, that entrepreneur, this business owner, it doesn't mean that it's right for you and it's really about again coming home to self and I routinely will say that to people that I talk to you is that relationship with yourself, that is your foundation, that is your starting point and then from there everything grows, professionally and personally For sure. Oh, 100%.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 6:34

So how did you get here? Like, did you always dream of helping people? Did you study this? How do you become a human potential coach?

Kamini Wood: 6:47

Well, it's a funny story. Actually. When I was seven, I really did have the idea that I wanted to work with people one on one, but then just everybody else's dreams for you start to take over. But so no, I ended up working in the dot-com industry. I was a project manager, I ran the project management office for a dot-com, but really in that role what I was doing was working with individuals on helping them understand what they needed in order to get the projects completed and what resources they needed and where were they finding stressors and helping them move through those things.

Kamini Wood: 7:21

Moved on to running a law practice, found myself wearing many hats during that, but also found myself really enjoying the part of helping individuals figure out what they wanted, whether they were a paralegal or a legal assistant or an attorney. What do you want if it was the client? What is your need? What is it that you're wanting to get from this particular litigation that you've got in front of you? So that's where I really I found like I constantly found myself in those roles, from a professional standpoint, but from a personal standpoint I also I'm the mom of five, so my oldest is almost 22. My youngest is 10. She just turned 10 this summer.

Kamini Wood: 7:59

But my children started to mirror back to me certain aspects of myself and those were things like people pleasing and perfectionism and over functioning for others. And so I kind of went through my own self transformation and my own self growth through that process and as I went through that I realized that, you know, I kind of did that evaluation like gosh, I keep coming back to the same place professionally. I've just really enjoying seeing people grow and expand and, oh wow, I've had these personal experiences. What was maybe a deeper purpose for that? Oh, wow, these two things should come together. This is what I've been called to do. And so, six years later, yeah, I've been running my practice for about six years at this point, working with people one on one and helping them figure out their stuff and where they want to go.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 8:48

That's really cool, because you took your past experiences and really made yourself a career out of it.

Kamini Wood: 8:54

Yes, I lived into my human potential.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 8:58

Hey, you're living it, I love it, I love it. It's so funny how I feel like a lot of people do that in their career paths is their quote unquote job kind of takes on a life of its own, and oftentimes you're doing something that really isn't anything to do with your job and you realize I really enjoy this. And I think that's where a lot of entrepreneurship and small business starts right, because you're like I could just do this that I really like doing.

Kamini Wood: 9:25

Absolutely, yes, absolutely, and I even think I do work with some college students, because I work with the gamut right Teens all the way through adults, even college students. They constantly are saying C, I'm stressed because I don't know what I'm going to do in terms of this is what my degree? Now I've got to find this job and, at the end of the day, it's what do you enjoy? Find the thing and give yourself permission to experiment and to have an experience and then, from there, give yourself permission to grow and evolve. It's just like me. I started off as a project manager and then every time I would be in a new role, but I'd find myself again. Common denominator people, growth, right, and so for me, that that found my passion and it's just giving ourselves.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 10:13

Yeah, it's so true, and I think it is getting it's different now. I remember growing up when you were in high school and it was basically what do you want to do for a job? Okay, you need to take these classes, and then you need to go to university and take these classes and then you'll have that job and that's your life. Right, and no one really talked about what do you love doing, what do you enjoy doing, what are things that you like doing, that we can build a career based on that, and I think that we're really now in 2023. I think I feel like COVID really started this, but we're really now starting to move more into. This is my passion. How can I make this my career, or how can I make this what brings me money?

Kamini Wood: 10:58

Right. Exactly, we're leaning more into fulfillment and joy versus just the autopilot right. I think that the way of the past was just in this to make money and we kind of forgot that there's also fulfillment and joy as part of that equation.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 11:20

Yeah, for sure. And I always say too, we're one being. Because people are like oh well, this is my job. But then you know what, like you said, you're a mother and you know you can be a wife and a friend and all this other things, but you can't actually separate yourself. It's not like you're in your job from nine to five and then you like flip a switch and now you're that other person, it's all, you're one being.

Kamini Wood: 11:42

Yes, yes, absolutely. Oftentimes we forget that we're not the roles that we play.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 11:48

Yes, yeah, and if that role does not bring you that fulfillment or joy, then you're probably struggling in other aspects of your life also. I feel like we're on like a therapy session right now, but everyone else is listening. These were life-threatening moments for me, as I had a career that I actually I enjoyed it, but I didn't love it. I didn't live and breathe for it. And then I had, I guess, life-changing experience, but my mom passed away suddenly and I was literally that life is too short moment of. I have a job, that's just a job. To me, it's just a paycheck. I don't actually care if I work or not, you know, it's just brought me money and I thought this is no way to live. I need to do something that brings me fulfillment, joy that I love. That doesn't feel like work, and that's how I started my career path, and I think we shouldn't have to have a life-changing moment to have those right, to have those. Like all moments, we should be able to just go in that direction.

Kamini Wood: 12:57

We should, although I think it for a lot of us. There are those catalyst moments. You know it's. For me, my catalyst moment to switch up was watching my children, or especially my middle daughter. People please and over function for everybody, from family to friends, and realizing, like that was my moment of oh wow, I need to, I need to figure out where this is coming. Well, I knew was coming from me, but I need reflection on how I could change, evolve and grow to break that pattern. And that was my catalyst moment. But I think each one of us has different ones sometimes. That's where we realize, oh, we have to shift, because a lot of times we are stuck on autopilot. But to your point, wouldn't it be nice if we could just give ourselves permission to make those shifts without having to live through catalyst moments?

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 13:46

Yeah, I agree, totally agree, and I think this is a really good segue into our topic today, which is goals, and you talked about it a little bit at the beginning, but I do, I do agree with you. That's like people tell us a cycle, so you set a goal and you hit it, or you don't hit it, and then you move on to the next thing. But let's start with the importance of goals. So why is setting goals important?

Kamini Wood: 14:12

To me, goals are all about setting an intention for yourself, you know.

Kamini Wood: 14:15

So I generally will call it an intention instead of a goal, and what that really is and it doesn't mean using the word goals is wrong, it's just for me personally, I like the word intention because what it says is I'm stepping into this and I'm choosing this for myself, and then when I set that intention, I'm really putting kind of that stake in the ground that this is something that's meaningful to me and it matters to me and I'm willing to take the steps in order to get there.

Kamini Wood: 14:41

And it is important because when we set those intentions, we set those goals, we're giving ourselves somewhat of a roadmap in order of where we want to head. And again, it's not that if we don't meet that intention or meet that goal or a failure, instead it's oh wow, so maybe I got to a different point and and maybe that's where I was meant to be or maybe that was, maybe I'm part of this is part of my learning journey and I can take this information that I've learned and I can now set a new goal or a new intention for myself. But without those, we're kind of just meandering along without true, really truly giving ourselves permission to write the story that we want to write yeah, that's so true.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 15:23

Okay, so let's talk about methods. So is there a method that you've kind of found is tried and true to set goals, or what's the best way for us to actually set a goal or an intention?

Kamini Wood: 15:35

So I did to this before, where I, you know, I, I know I've heard all about smart goals, right, the, the specific, measurable, attainable. What's the other our stand for? I can't remember. And then time reasonable.

Kamini Wood: 15:47

Timely reasonable yeah, that's it. Time and time sensitive, yeah, but for me it's. Can we start with what are my values like? Let's look at the life domain that we're setting the goals in. So, if we're talking about career, what are my values within my career that I have for myself? What are the needs that I have in terms of my career? That's a life domain that we're looking at, and then I know my values and my needs, what seems to be a reasonable not reasonable, but a goal that actually aligns with those values and yeah, so then we set that goal, we set that intention, and then it is about breaking it down into bite sized pieces that we can take committed action against. Because sometimes what happens to is, if we set this intention, it's probably pretty big, if it's based on our values and needs, and then it feels it can feel overwhelming, so it's so important to then say okay, now that I have this, what are those smaller committed actions?

Kamini Wood: 16:46

And then, as each one gets accomplished, or you're working towards celebrating, so you're celebrating small steps along the way, because we have to remember that small wins will compound to reach that larger goal or intention oh, yeah, that's, that's so true, and I think we forgot about that.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 17:06

We think we often, as humans, think about the negative right, you didn't do something. But we don't. Often are like oh, I did this, like good job, right, or a good job to your team or a good job to yourself, or whoever it is yeah, oftentimes we forget that we have to celebrate the small things along the way because we're so attached to the final intention that we were.

Kamini Wood: 17:30

What we end up doing is we we focus on the outcome and we forget that the gold is in the process, because in the process that's where we're growing, that's where we're evolving, that's where we're learning and that's where we might need to shift, because maybe we set this intention with the idea of certain values and needs base. It was based from that, but maybe along the way we've learned things that now has shifted it ever so slightly. But if we're so focused on the outcome and if it's not that specific outcome, then we get stuck in this idea that we're a failure, versus if we're focused on the process along the way and the steps and the committed actions along the way we're allowing ourselves to control through it and as we make it towards that intention or goal that we've set so do you think it's better for someone to set more goals?

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 18:21

I'll say smaller, more, smaller goals or fewer goals, but there may be a little larger scale with like steps in between.

Kamini Wood: 18:33

I think it depends on. I don't think there's an inherent yes or no or this is right, this is wrong. I think it depends on each person. What I have personally found is if one sets a couple larger goals or intentions and then breaks those down into smaller pieces or bite-sized pieces and committed actions to live into those larger intentions, I do think that having a couple of intentions for yourself is helpful also because sometimes, if you happen to be a high achiever and I work with a lot of high achievers we become very over focused on the one intention we've set.

Kamini Wood: 19:06

That then we can overthink and get stuck in the overthinking versus yes, we've got a couple happening, you're less likely to get stuck in that overthinking motion yes, 100%, okay.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 19:18

So you said get stuck. What are you doing? You get stuck.

Kamini Wood: 19:26

You know, that's a great question because we do get stuck a lot. I can't even attest to that myself. For me personally, what it comes back to is realigning with a couple things, what's meaningful to me. So a lot of times what I will say to people as they're stuck is name and notice what's happening. Right, it's very important. Notice that I'm stuck. What am I stuck on? Let's name it. Come back to the present moment.

Kamini Wood: 19:50

So I practice a lot of mindfulness with my clients, like what's happening in the here and now. Can you connect back to yourself in this moment? And then it's to take one small meaningful action towards where you want to head. Because what happens is, as an over thinker, we will just get stuck in that rabbit hole and we keep thinking about the thing where we're stuck and it's completely going away. So instead it's recognize that we have that choice point we can get stuck, we can stay stuck, or we can come back to the present moment, reconnect with self and then go towards where we want to be. And it doesn't have to be a big leap, it can be a small one because, again, small actionable steps take us towards where we want to go. They'll compound.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 20:31

Yeah, and so then is it okay to pivot or to change, like, maybe if I set an intention, maybe it's for growth, I want to have, let's say, my small business sales numbers, that I'm working towards this sales number and something happens that I have to change that. Is that okay? And then what do you do to modify?

Kamini Wood: 20:59

I think it's absolutely okay and that's what entrepreneurs is constantly give ourself permission to change and shift. Because if we're going through, if we've set a goal and we're paying attention to the process rather than the outcome, what we're doing along the way is learning, and maybe what we've learned is that goal actually it doesn't go. I want anymore because I've learned, you know A, B and C, and so we give ourself permission to pivot. It doesn't mean we failed. It means that we've grown and we're able to shift the intention or the goal that we've set for ourselves. It's when we don't give ourselves permission to pivot that then we may not even get to that intention, and then we're beating ourselves up for failing.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 21:39

Yeah, exactly yeah, and I think that is the part that we look at things as failure and not learning. But you might have learned 10 things that help you in your business or personally grow and develop, but if you didn't hit that end, you'd look at that as a failure.

Kamini Wood: 22:00

Yeah, yeah.

Kamini Wood: 22:01

And that's what I mean by being outcome focused, right when it's like, oh, I didn't get to this outcome, so therefore I failed.

Kamini Wood: 22:06

But what about the 25 things that you learned and grew and experienced along the way, and even those successes along the way, like, for instance, maybe you didn't hit, only learned and hit goals around networking or building your email list or I don't know, just little goals that you might have to get to a certain sales member? You know, I know that a lot of coaches will say, well, I need to make X amount of money, and then they didn't make that amount of money, but they made all these connections and they had all these great conversations with people throughout the year. And they don't even pay attention to that. And you have to stop and say, well, was it really a failure if I didn't make that sales goal, if I had these amazing conversations and I made all of these contacts with people, and all these people are in my network? Now it loses. We lose track of this that we're really working towards when we just are so outcome focused.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 23:04

Yeah, that's true. Okay, a couple of I'm just I have all these questions that are going on in my head that I'm like writing down as we're going through this. So a few things what should we base our goals on? So by that I mean data, or our feelings, or where we think we should be, or what we think we should do, or how do we know what to base them on.

Kamini Wood: 23:36

That is such a great question because there's a part of it that says of course, if you're running a business, you're going to want to use some data, right, you don't want to do the sky things all the time. However, if we're, if we're going with shoulds, I routinely will tell people that if you find yourself saying this should be my goal, take a pause because should usually as an indication that it's a fear based goal. And so you ask yourself what am I afraid of? Because that'll be very telling. I always come back to yes, data is great.

Kamini Wood: 24:08

Use data. However, it's also is it meaningful to you? Because if it's not meaningful to you and it's just data driven, you're going to be completely attached to it. You know, if somebody says you know you should have 50,000 people on your email list I know that's a crazy number Because it's because it's driven by data it's like, OK, that's great and also I don't really care about 50,000 people, versus, if it's meaningful for me to have all of those connections, then maybe I would be driven to do it. So the data has to be matched up with what is also meaningful to us as individuals, because, at the end of the day, we are humans Like we. We are connected to our business and there's going to be an emotional connection to the goals that we're setting. And there almost has to be, in my opinion, because emotions are also data packets. Emotions tell us what we value and what we need. So use it. Use it as data rather than just data is not just numbers. Data can also be our emotions.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 25:05

Yeah, and I think to, unless a data goal that doesn't mean anything to you. I know in a previous history career that I had had to spend so much time at a business. I was a sales rep. I sold candy. I had to stay at a Walmart, for example, for two hours and I had to clock it right, and if I was under that or over that it was frowned upon and the time I spent there meant nothing. I didn't sell any more or less if I was there longer or not. Right, it was a goal that someone decided would be a good thing to set and they said it and it meant nothing to me. Now had maybe I mean, I was an employee at that time but maybe if there was a dollar value attached to that, I might have cared, right, but then you're just yeah like if.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 26:04

I got a commission, let's say, or I got a bonus at the end of the year because I was in the proper time frame, or whatever it was. I might have cared, but I didn't really care. And I always, you know, and I would be longer, shorter times in places, and I would always say, but what's the difference? At the end of the day, that doesn't really. That's just, it's a data point, but doesn't really have anything to do with what I'm supposed to be doing.

Kamini Wood: 26:29

Right, yeah, yeah, and to what you just said, it didn't mean anything to you, there was no emotional attachment, there was no emotional, there were no emotions in it at all, so there was no real true value or need for you to be there. So therefore, it just kind of felt arbitrary, like okay, great, I need to be there for two hours Got it?

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 26:49

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Do you find I mean, this is just coming to me now when I just said about commission but if you're the business owner and I would hope, and I think that you're probably setting goals with your team as well, right, not just for yourself, but for your team Do you find that employees do work harder if there is a, I'll say, bonus money, gift card I don't know what it is, but attached to goals?

Kamini Wood: 27:22

I have found that it works if that is something that is a value of theirs, and what I mean by that is there are some individuals who are not. They, one of their values isn't money, like they're not financially driven. Instead, they might be more of just affirmation driven, like they do, the intensely value the acknowledgement and being seen, and so they'll be driven by just words of affirmation versus a money, a money attachment to something. So, again, it comes back to when you're leading a team, really getting to know the people on the team and finding what are their key drivers and then figuring out how to potentially set the goals against some of those key drivers, because that will actually get them to move towards those goals.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 28:13

That's so true, because then each person on your team is motivated by what motivates them, not by what you think motivates them Right.

Kamini Wood: 28:23

Yes, yeah, I mean, it goes even until we talk about this and with clients I talk about. This is a totally different subject, but in the five love languages there's those five different love languages and obviously the same relationship. You may feel love a certain way, but if the person that you're in relationship with not even romantic but even friendships feels love in a totally different way, it's important to pay attention to how they receive love and see if you can honor that, because just because you feel it a certain way, if you show it to them that way, it's not going to necessarily resonate as much as it would if you show them love how they receive it.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 28:57

Yeah, I love that. So really I know when I had brick and mortar clothing stores and I would do a contest or something to boost sales, right, do something in the store. And some people it was a gift card. That's what would make them work hard. Some people it was I didn't call it but like employee of the week or the employee of the month right, and that recognition that this person did such an amazing job. Somebody else, maybe it was a paid day off, that they got paid, but they didn't have to come to work and they could do something they enjoyed doing, right. So those are three very different things. Yes, but yeah. Yeah, because if you don't care about a gift card, are you going to work hard for it? No, Totally.

Kamini Wood: 29:47

It's like the people who will have, as they'll say, fill out my survey and we'll give you a gift card, and some people are like I don't really want a gift card, so I'm not going to fill out your survey. Yeah yeah, it's true, but if you offer them something that actually motivates them, then maybe they'll help it out.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 30:03

Yeah, exactly. So if you're the business owner, the entrepreneur right now you're listening to this you better ask your team what would motivate them to reach the goal right.

Kamini Wood: 30:15

You better ask them and know that what's meaningful to them, what would be of meaning and value to them absolutely.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 30:23

Yeah, that's awesome. Okay, goal, okay. If you have a goal in mind, whether it's a sales number or it's you want to learn something or you want to. Maybe it's you don't have a website right now and you want to get a website and you're working towards creating this website, do you suggest people write down their goals? Do they do like a platform with their steps and their commitments, or what's the best way for them to have it in front of them so that they can be doing these steps to get there?

Kamini Wood: 30:58

I absolutely believe in writing down your goals. I also think that sometimes that you can get creative. I used to laugh at the idea of vision boards. But are they great? Fun? Because, again, we're going back to joy and fulfillment If we can make fun out of it instead of it being so serious and just okay, I've got to do this, this, this and this.

Kamini Wood: 31:20

Instead, set that intention, write it down absolutely, because if you write it down, your brain it's an output channel. Your brain now sees it as okay. This is something I'm actually committing to. But if you can even make it fun and create a vision board out of it and, through the vision board, put things on there that would lead to that goal, so you have the whole intention and then you put things on that vision board that would lead and build up the smaller commitments essentially that lead into that goal.

Kamini Wood: 31:47

It's a great way to also keep that in front of you, because a lot of people will now use a Pinterest boards, for instance. You can then sign inside it and you keep it on your phone. What that does is it keeps it top of mind, because if you keep that on your phone and you're referring back to it, our reticular activating system in our brain is going to continually see that, and so, even when we're not thinking about the goals specifically, or these intentions specifically, our brain is going to be scanning for ways to make that thing happen, because we're keeping it top of mind. So, again, vision board, or just writing it down and keeping it where you can see it, it allows the brain to continually scan for ways to live into that intention.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 32:26

Yeah, that's great. So, and then, like you said before, making it more of like bite-sized pieces, so that you're not just looking at that end result, because that can be overwhelming.

Kamini Wood: 32:39

Absolutely, and that's what keeps people a lot of times from being able to move forward, because the goal is so big and they feel so overwhelmed that they're paralyzed, because it's almost well one imposter syndrome can pop in. But also, if something is so large, it's like when you're looking at a buffet sometimes it's overwhelming, right.

Shauna Foster: 33:00

Yeah.

Kamini Wood: 33:01

And instead, that's why we take our little plate, little parts on our plate, and we go sit down and we eat it and then, if we're still hungry, we go back and get more. We've got this big intention. Let's break it down into these bite-sized pieces.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 33:16

Yeah, and I'm just thinking this, but it's okay to get help along the way, right? Like, if there's a part of your goal, let's just say it's. Let's say it's posting more on social media. I want to post this many times, I want to do this, but you're like, well, I'm not great at taking the photos, so maybe you get somebody else to take the photos, right, like? You don't have to do this on your own, do you?

Kamini Wood: 33:41

Oh my gosh, no, it's all about asking for help, asking for support. I think that's part of entrepreneurship is we think we have to do it all on our own, and then it feel isolated and it is so important to be able to say, no, I could use some support, I need help with this. And also it's part I mean, for me it's part of self compassion, right, being able to get vulnerable and saying to somebody you know, I'm, maybe I am struggling with social media and maybe it's not to get help with the actual posting, but maybe it's to get help with understanding you know how to post or what to post. It can be many different ways of doing it, but it's so important to be able to ask for support because we're not isolated beings, we're relational beings as humans, and being able to live into that and know that it's okay, we're not a failure because we're asking for help, is so it's absolutely vital.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 34:34

I think I didn't even learn that until I was like into my second year of business, because I thought, well, I'm an entrepreneur now, so I just have to know how to do everything, and if I don't know, I'm gonna learn and all of this. And then it's like time. First of all, how much time do you have in a day? And you just can't spend all day, every day, doing everything Like. When I look back at it now I think how ridiculous that was that I thought I could do my bookkeeping and be the janitor and do my marketing and be the salesperson and be the therapist to my staff and help them out. And now you're like it's laughable. It's so silly to think that, but I think we all start out or maybe fall into that trap, right?

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 35:21

We all go through that, absolutely, absolutely, we all go through it, and I think it's part of the growth process of entrepreneurship, to be honest, yeah, yeah, I agree, I agree, like I said, took me over a year, and then I was like, huh, maybe I should get a bookkeeper Exactly Not sure why I didn't think about that before. I think it starts out with, especially if you're just starting a business, money right, cause you're like, well, I have to pay somebody to do that and I don't really know much money I'm even gonna have, so I'll just do it.

Kamini Wood: 35:51

Right, right. And then, of course, fear. Right now that I'm making money, it's well. Can I continue doing this?

Kamini Wood: 35:58

Well, I'd be able to continue to make enough money to pay this person and it's just the stories we tell ourselves. But yes, absolutely I think with any entrepreneur that's the fear at first is how I have to make enough money to feed myself and then I need to feed this other person. But it's also important to recognize that if we don't bring on those people, we're kind of they're gonna plateau at some point because there's only so much we can do on our own.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 36:23

Yeah, well, and it comes down to two things, I always think. First one we talked about before fulfillment and joy If you don't enjoy doing something, why are you spending time doing it? Right? Yes, yes, Like. Why am I doing my books? I hated doing them and I would sit at home on a Friday night and do my books, crying or cursing. What does it do usually, right? I?

Kamini Wood: 36:46

Would do too. Exactly yeah, yeah.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 36:49

And then second of all is I could have been spending that time that I was crying or cursing doing something else that made me money. So maybe I have to pay somebody to do my books, but I spend that time doing a private shopping party at my clothing store with two really great clients that spend a lot of money right, yes, yes, exactly, exactly the opportunity costs that happen.

Kamini Wood: 37:17

We think that we're saving money because we're not paying this person, but we're actually losing money because we are not where our zone of genius is.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 37:25

That's right. Oh, I love that zone of genius. I love that. So maybe, if you're just starting and you're listening, maybe a goal is to be able to have either team members or someone from the outside that you just pay to do some of those things you don't love or don't make you money, so that you can spend the time on the stuff that you do love or make you money Exactly that's a great goal. That's a great goal. That's a great goal. So do I? I love it too. Like I said, I learned it about a year and a half or two years into my business, but it's just advice that people always had asked for help and get somebody else to do things that you don't like doing, and I thought, well, that's dumb. But then you really realize, wow, it's genius. It's not dumb at all. It might cost you money, but it'll actually make you money.

Kamini Wood: 38:13

Exactly.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 38:14

Exactly, is there any must have goals, or is there any goals that kind of every entrepreneur or business owner should strive for or have on their list?

Kamini Wood: 38:30

Oh, that's such a great question. No, it really is a great question. I mean, I think we just touched on one maybe where it's maybe setting a goal around who you might want to outsource certain things to. But I think ultimately, the goals that we set as an entrepreneur is come back to your why right, why are you embarking on this? Because I think for a lot of entrepreneurs there is a deeper why, and if we can set our goals against some of that, I mean that's why it's gonna be different people.

Kamini Wood: 39:01

But maybe the must have goals are related to starting my, and so the must have goal might be slightly different from each person. I do think that, in terms of just having started I mean, I started that law firm from the ground up too, so entrepreneurship has kind of been in my blood, because the dot com also started from the ground up A lot of the goals that you end up setting need to again be related back to what's important to you and what's meaningful to you and what do you value. Because those, if those goals, are not aligned with who you are as a person, they're, at the end of the day, pretty arbitrary.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 39:40

Yep, 100%. And then what's the point of even setting them if they're not coming back to that right? What's the point?

Kamini Wood: 39:48

Yeah, what's the point? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think it's easy. I think it's easy for people to say, well, like I'm setting a goal of X amount of money, I think that's great. And then ask yourself and why that number? Right, Because that helps you figure out why. What's the why for you?

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 40:08

Yeah, exactly, and especially if you're making a business plan and you're getting funding from someone, they always wanna know your sales goals and everything else. But in all reality you're making those up, you're first starting out. I mean, you're doing projections and a lot of times it's based on your break even, right, like how much money do I have to make? Yes, but it doesn't really mean anything, right.

Kamini Wood: 40:34

Yes, yeah.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 40:37

Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy when you think of that. All these goals that I just I'm thinking back now and all these jobs I've had, being like, well, that was the weirdest goal ever because it didn't really mean anything. See, so silly. Um, okay, we talked about celebrating goals and I agree with you that that's so important to celebrate successes, even if they're small. Um, but what happens if things don't go right? I know we talked about learning, but what happens if you don't hit your goals?

Kamini Wood: 41:09

That's what I really believe, why and believe in self compassion and why self compassion is so important? Because there are going to be times, the goaliness that, the mark on an intention we set, and so kindness over judgment and leaning into what did I learn through this process and how did I grow and what can I take moving forward, are really important things to take a look at, because if we don't work, it just becomes I didn't make that goal, I didn't hit that intention, and then there's a period and the truth is, if we didn't make a goal or meet an intention, it should just be a comma and and so what's next? You know what? What do you want for yourself now? And so if we can look at that with kindness over judgment, we're able to do that a lot, a lot easier.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 41:58

Yeah, I love that. I know that at one point in time my dad said to me because I would always go to my dad for business advice and and support and whatnot, and I would say this didn't work out, and I'd be so disappointed and upset and he would say, okay, so are you still alive? Yes, like, but did you die? Kind of that joke, right? No, I didn't die, and there's always a nugget, there's always a nugget, and maybe, maybe, that nugget is just well. I now know that this didn't work and I'm not going to do that again, right.

Kamini Wood: 42:35

Yes, yes. It's asking yourself, even in the midst of this, not going the way that I wanted it to you what's the one right thing? You know what's the one right thing that I learned along the way, for instance, because we can take that and we can, we can move forward from that place.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 42:50

I love that there's always a rainbow in that rain and, as I say this at my house, it absolutely just started pouring outside right now and it's so loud. Thank God for headphones and echo producers, because it's so loud in here, but I love that there's always something good right, that comes out of it. Do you have a most important lesson that you can share? Whether it's goal setting, or even just a lesson that you've learned on your journey.

Kamini Wood: 43:20

My most important lesson for me personally was the lesson self forgiveness.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 43:26

Yes.

Kamini Wood: 43:29

For me, that has been the key, because I, as a high achiever, I'm very, very hard on myself, and so for me, as an entrepreneur as well, self forgiveness, because along the way, we're going to have missteps, we're going to maybe set goals that we don't hit, we're going to maybe take committed action that ends up being the wrong action. And so, for me, the biggest, the biggest lesson has been self for this.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 43:56

I love that and you know what I think. Most of us are our harshest, harshest critic and most other people, you know you think what somebody else would think. They're probably thinking about it, but we're thinking about other people, are thinking and putting that stress on ourselves and we really just have to not do that to our own self, right? Yeah, yeah, anything you wish you had known or wish you had known earlier, maybe something you could tell your younger self.

Kamini Wood: 44:27

A younger self. Yeah, I think you know part of it is just telling and reminding my younger self that life is challenging, you know, and it's okay to actually admit it. We don't have to muscle through. I think that's part of it too. Is thinking that we have to muscle through, put that brave face on and sometimes there's a lot of strength and just feeling what we need to feel and allowing that to actually propel us forward.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 44:52

Yeah, go through your feelings right. I love that. I love it. It's okay to have a downtime, but it's really great to have an uptime. Yes, yeah, love it. Okay, I know people are going to want to know more about you, maybe reach out to you. What is the best place for people to find you?

Kamini Wood: 45:13

My website is kaminiwood. com, and then I'm also on Facebook and Instagram with the handle. @Its authentic me.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 45:24

Oh, I love that, and we'll, of course, have everything linked to our social media, so make sure you follow us, and then you can find comedy as well. Thank you so much for being on. I feel like I had a few little light bulb moments here, and I really appreciate that.

Kamini Wood: 45:37

Well, thank you, this was such an enjoyable conversation.

Mackenzie Kilshaw: 45:41

It was. I really enjoyed it and I know our listeners did too. So, for everybody listening, thank you for tuning in and we'll see you on the next episode. Thanks for listening to Winning. Be sure to subscribe to get all of our new episodes. If you enjoyed this episode and you'd like to help support the podcast, please share it with others, post about it on social media and leave a rating and review wherever you listen to it. To catch all of the latest from us, you can follow Winning Podcast on Instagram at @winning_ podcast, Facebook at Winning Podcast and on Twitter at @winning pod. Winning was created and is produced by me, Mackenzie Kilshaw music created by Summer Firby, editing by Seth Armstrong. Special thanks to Shauna Foster for voicing our opening and, of course, a huge thank you to this episode's guests. Thanks again for listening and I'll see you on the next episode.